In some interviews with some more graduated musicians, a lot of them will repeat ” I like to write something i can’t play ” and that of course leads to lots of practice which ultimately results in a more skilled player. Learning how to play music i can’t play has always been a hobby of mine, as it does result in more skills for my arsenal.

The song Outlaw Torn by Metallica is a great song, and definitely one of there more obscure and never really heard tracks ( though it was one of the highlights of many shows ). The song does have sort of a obscure meaning, and yes you can debate this as much as you like – but based on James writing technique, he often writes in third person, and usually about something or someone else ( he’s never been executed [Ride The Lightning] he’s never been committed [Sanitarium] never been a werewolf , fought beasts from the depths of hell, or been to war ) . But i do feel, and this is only a personal take, that he projects a lot of himself and personal feelings into his songs. Especially the black album and on. His main issues were alcoholism, and you can see in his lyrics how thats what he was feeling he was fighting – in fact there are a few interviews where he talks about how the thing that should not be was his battle with alcoholism , which then to me, makes the song even more stronger.

I believe this song, Outlaw Torn is simply a fictional work of a genius. The story is bold, its vague, its mysterious, and ultimately, the music combines with the lyrics to make a very emotional roller coaster at which in the end, you feel you have seen a dark life and are grateful to be where you are today. the Outlaw Torn is ruined rebel, from a time when his opinion changed others minds and when the oppressive family he left behind had bore a hole in his heart so deep, nothing could fill it. The Outlaw Torn now drinks his sorrows away, and shields himself from the world with negativity and grief . Staggering from the kitchen, wounded from two wars and a few motorcycle accidents, this half native-american half englishman takes yet another long nap on the old couch, full of jim bean and sorrow, the man lives to suffer another day.

Outlaw Torn ( Cover ) by DavidKilmer

The Outlaw Torn

And now I wait my whole lifetime
For you
And now I wait my whole lifetime
For you

I ride the dirt I ride the tide
For you
I search the outside search inside
For you

To take back what you left me
I know I’ll always burn to be
The one who seeks so I may find
And now I wait my whole lifetime

My Outlaw torn
My Outlaw torn
And I’m torn

The more I search the more my need
For you
The more I bless the more I bleed
For you

So on I wait my whole lifetime
For you
So on I wait my whole lifetime
For you

The more I search the more my need
For you
The more I bless the more I bleed
For you

You make me smash the clock and feel
I’d rather die behind the wheel
Time was never on my side
So on I wait my whole lifetime

My Outlaw torn
My Outlaw torn
Yeah I’m Outlaw torn
And I’m torn

Hear me
And if I close my mind in fear
Please pry it open
See me
And if my face becomes sincere
Beware
Hold me
And when I start to come undone
Stitch me together
Save me
And when you see me strut
Remind me of what left this outlaw torn

The acoustic version

So this all started when watching “The best thing ever ate” on food network – basically a bunch of food celebs plugging in there favorite eatery’s and such – but its entertaining. anyways, they were doing a show on bacon, so all the favorites had to be bacon oriented. One of the highlights was these bacon freaking donuts with a maple love glaze topped with more bacon bits. Freaking ingenious i thought to myself, and then started dreaming about these donuts.

I of course have never made a donut in my life…. take that back, i think i have tried twice, both times coming out with something less then edible and even less of spectacle to look at. Anyways, i decided today was the day and that i would finally make these damn dream donuts

I first hunted out my personal food god, Alton Brown. If you don’t know who he is, you can see his super fun show ‘Good Eats’ on the food network – usually 8pm or 11pm PST . Anyways, Alton presents food to the masses by intertwining Bill nye the science guy an Julia Child shows, you come up with good eats. That’s right, instead of watching some crazy cook whip up something magical, Alton actually gives you the reasons for this and that and basically runs you down the science facts of cooking.

Cooking is considered a art. But over the years, i have learned that there is nothing artistic about making the food, the art is in eating. and there’s nothing better in this world then eating your own art,… you get my drift

So i looked up the last twelve years of Good eats for a Donut recipe, sure enough, there was one. And it was all about donuts. I suggest you watch the episode before attempting – its packed with more knowledge then i can share in a small sized blog post. Even though he doesn’t make Bacon Donuts, he does walk you through the steps of a Perfect do nut, on top of that , we will build our Bacon donuts.

I present to you our software:

• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 2 1/2 ounces vegetable shortening, approximately 1/3 cup
• 2 packages instant yeast
• 1/3 cup warm water (95 to 105 degrees F)
• one half pound thick cut center strip MAPLE bacon ( you could use any kind of flavor in the bacon, but i suggest the maple since we will be glazing with maple ) layout on a cookie sheet and bake for 20 minutes or until crispy enough to cut into small peices. over dun will take out all of the fat and leave no flavor…. this one takes practice
• Leftover drippings from the bacon braising ( grandma always said ’save your bacon grease’ )
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
• 23 ounces all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting surface
• Peanut or vegetable oil, for frying (1 to 1/2 gallons, depending on fryer)

Your hardware? well, this one isn’t as tricky as you think, but i failed to find biscut cutters in my town – the local hardware shop said they hadn’t ordered any in weeks and didnt realize they were out. I tried the local goodwill and nothing. I tried all of the grocery stores ( there is always a half aisle that contains cooking hardware ) and again, nothing. So i said, screw it, i will figure that part out. You need biscuit cutters, basically, is what i would call them. They are like bottomless measuring cups without  handles – perfect for cutting out cookies, biscuits, or even donuts. If you can find a set of these like Alton had on his show, perfect donut hole cutters as well! I emptied out a tuna can, cut out both sides and taped the edges to make em soft so i wouldn’t cut myself. And for the whole cutter, i used a syrup lid, again with both sides cut out.

You will also need a couple mixing bowls, and deep yet small pot for frying. you will also need a flat surface, a rolling pin ( use spacers to create a even flat shape ).

Instruction:

Set your oven to 375 and place 8 slices of bacon on a sheet tray – place in oven for 15 minutes or until crispy – put it on the top rack to prevents scorching. once finished, remove the bacon and allow to cool – save the drippings.

First heat up the milk – do not boil it, just get it hot enough to melt the shortening ( about 185 degrees ). Remove it from the heat and pour it over the shortening to melt it. Next, bloom your yeast if you have dry active, if you by the instant then just mix it into the flour. Then beat your eggs in a separate container. We need to now wait for the milk to come down in heat to at least 90 degrees or less – do not chill it by placing it in a cooler or freezer – your patience will be rewarded. once it is cooled down to room temp, ad your bloomed yeast first, if you have active then just move on and add the whipped eggs, sugar, salt, nutmeg* , and bacon drippings. Dice all the bacon strips you cooked off earlier, and mix half of them in to our mixture. once combined ( don’t over whip ) add half the flour and combine, then add the rest of the flour and mix to combine. Once it is sort of sticky but together, place a towel over the bowl and let it rise, about 45 minutes , or longer – no rush.

Once the dough is risen, dump it out on to a floured surface. roll it flat with a pin, using spacers you can make an even flat – about half inch to two thirds inch thick. cut out with the larger cut out, remove unused dough ( to reuse this dough, you need to lightly squeeze it together and then let rise, about half the time as before , before rolling it out – other wise they will be oddly deformed when you fry them if you rush and re-roll them right away ). after you have your large cut outs, now cut out the donut with the smaller cut out – you can keep these and fry them as well, more on that later.

Now comes time to fry – first place a towel over your do nuts and let them rise at least a half hour. While they are rising we can heat up our oil and get ready to fry. Like i said before, you need a tall, but small pot for this. it must be non-reactive and be stable on its surface, we don’t want hot oil being spilled in the kitchen. Now, oil will be combustive if at a freakishly hot temperature ( it starts to smoke – this means you let it get to hot ). This won’t happen as long as you don’t be stupid and place oil in a pan and turn it on high and walk away – do not go past half way ( medium ) heat, and never EVER EVER EVER walk away from hot oil in a kitchen. Okay, so now that we are done with the legality’s and safety of frying, lets move on.

If you have a candy thermometer , you can gauge how hot the oil is – we want at least a 350 degree heat. Otherwise, you could just cut up a potato and stick it in occasionally until it bubbles well ( silly method, i know – but 350 is a magic number – its when water is willing to cumbust so quickly that it actually takes turns with all the molecules while they combust. 212 is boiling, but 350 is rapid fire power ** ).

now that we are up to temp and our donuts have risen ( and your reading a book in your kitchen waiting for this time to go by ), its time to really, really fry. first, we need to talk about donut recovery and control. I used a small flat strainer spatula – with a plastic handle. we want to add one donut at a time, give it about a minute and then gently turn it around in the oil. At first it will sink, give it time and it will release itself. once it completes a minute on both sides and is GBD ( Golden Brown Delicious , and yes, that’s proper kitchen talk ) we can take it out. take your time because we need the oil to reheat just a bit. this is where a tool that allows the oil to strain comes into play. Make sure you don’t have a exposed burner – in other words, don’t fry on gas heat, your oil may very well combust from the flames coming around the sides, and that  is no good at all. with an electric burner, we can’t have the oil fall on the burner itself, as it will very much flame up and cause the whole pot to catch. Make sure your pot covers the burner – i used a 7″ pot on my small burner, covering it just by a half inch – perfect! now, when we pull our donuts out, we want to allow it to drip, regardless, because who wants oil all over the kitchen, right!? place it on either a towel ( what i did ) or a wire rack on top of a sheet tray to allow it to cool on both sides,….. like a cookie.

Let them cool completely – this part is very very important. do not break it open to see if it is cooked, cause it is still cooking. It will be so moist inside, you will think you have screwed up somewhere, but in fact the dough is forming.

After frying each donut one minute on each side, you can start making a glaze while they cool. Turn off your heat on your oil, and let it sit – do not attempt to move it, just let it sit – after a few hours you can cover it with a plate to avoid smelling it and let it cool completely. Even after a few hours, it is still hot enough to burn skin, just let it be.

You can make a really simple maple glaze with maple syrup ( the better the merrier ) , milk and powdered sugar. heat up the milk (1/4 cup ) in a double broiler, mix in 1/4 cup maple syrup completely. then add two cups of powdered sugar. once dissolved you will have a wicked maple glaze. If you had a imitation bacon flavor, now would be a good time to add just a tsp of it – that would really kick ass…..

Now remove your top for your broiler with the glaze and if the donuts are completely cool, dip them in on one side, and then sprinkle the remaining bacon you chopped up earlier, and sprinkle it on right after the glaze. i also sprinkled on some chocolate , just to give more twist to the sweet and savory love story.

let the glaze cool, and you have yourself some kick ass bacon donuts.

* Alton Brown suggests using a real nutmeg and grating it to use – this i feel is a awesome suggestion considering how often nutmeg is used, i just have yet to hunt down some real nutmegs for my personal use and can’t vouch for it. But i am sure it’s a really good thing, based on him enthusiasm about it.

** this is basically a personal opinion, based on some fact and more experience. for frying, this isn’t really true, but the principle does stay consistent, at least the results do. Every restaurant i have cooked at, the flat top heat is never accurate, and so you basically have to geuss based on how the flames look – this method for the most part works, except each flat top will always have a difference in space between flame and flat top. so after making your geuss, you put some water on it – if it splashes and sputters, its to low ( less then 350 ) , if it balls up and rolls around like little beads , your dead on. if it the water instantaneously dissipates into a steamy blur , then your too high ( above 350 ). in frying, if it burns before its done in the middle, its to high, but oil usually starts smoking after 425-450 ( hence why commercial fryers only go to 400 )

So sorry for all the ugliness for the past few weeks – were back to normal and will proceed posting my life

It was never dead,…

After my first ten years in the food service industry , i looked back and realized i didn’t document any of it. I had spent most of the time trying to get out of it, but all the while taking my job very seriously and finding the most entertaining aspects of being a cook and learn to enjoy it.
Most cooks who are humble will think of the job as a over-glorified janitorial position, or ‘a janitor with a spatula’  – and this is said mainly cause even with the glory of being a cook, you still are just a monkey. Of course, this isn’t the greatest of mind sets to go at this type of work, but its the truth.

When i came into cooking, as most do, by working first as a dishwasher and then moving your way up, i was young and naive. Ashland is a small city, and very touristy. During the spring to fall, there is the Oregon Shakespeare festival, which brings tons of folks from where ever – usually passer-byes and some come just for the plays. This of course brings strength to the local food service market. In Ashland, there is over 60 restaurants ( small business types ), and only a taco bell, Wendy’s, Burger king, and a typical Chinese food restaurant to round out your fast-food cravings ( the city board has pushed/forced all others out of town – usually on aesthetic requirements on there premise , like unique signs and such ).

Though cooking can be tough, its worse when you choose the side of good versus evil. Such as choosing to be nice all day every day, versus being a turd-bucket cause you question the value of your life every day until you begin to get depressed yada yada

I worked at the first restaurant for six years ( brothersrestaurant.net ) . A simple deli and breakfast joint, i worked there first as a dishwasher and then moved up to prep and line cook.  One of the cooks there also worked at another restaurant and got me a shoe-in and was able to quit and move to Morning Glory ( morninggloryrestaurant.com ) as a full time cook. I worked there until August of 09 when i finally quit. I did quit during the tale end of the busy year, but i swear i was burned out – an in a way that i most confusing. The entire time i had been doing web development on the side, and learning the ropes and eventually doing freelance which led to meeting my current business partners.

After 16 months of being a mildly successful web developer, i decided it was time i should go back to cooking, not only because i am good at it, but because my family needed it. And hey, after 16 months working from home, i can say i am easily ready. What is even more splendid, is the job i am now taking is not just any cooking gig, its a cooking gig with managerial duties – which is more then i expected, but even more so, very exciting . It also does one of two things, 1) Will end my cooking courier on a high note or 2) blossoms into something more.

The other difference is that i will be documenting the experience – sort of in a ‘Anthony Bourdain’ style, we will see. Cooking has made me part of its world, and i more in tune with that then i ever have been. So, look out oysters, here comes the shucker .